‘Twas the Day After Christmas… A Jogging Tale

‘Twas the day after Christmas

out running on the trail

5 miles on the horizon

those dang cookies creeped up the scale.

~

Feeling a little jiggly

and super bloated to boot

combating caramel chex on my ass

oh no, it will not stay put.

~

One mile in and feeling pretty good

not a soul out there with me

Guess they’re still eating all that food.

~

When off in the distance I see a figure run

Someone else like me out having some fun

Closer and closer we came to meet

Shorts this fool was wearing, barely socks on his feet.

~

Waving the friendly trail runners wave

while rolling my eyes after he passed on by,

mile 2 on the horizon, I continued to fly.

~

My layers started becoming a wee bit much

My sunglasses fogging over, crap I’m hungry for lunch

Mile 2.5 turnaround point finally under my feet

180 turn and BAM, wind blasting my face like a sheet.

~

Cold, bitter and blustery taste on my lips

My eyes started burning, tears like a faucet did drip

Snot now pouring out my nose is definitely disgusting

And my wind induced snail pace – damn right I’m now cussing.

~

Mile 3 my GPS did chime in

Only two more to go for the win!

Two bikers soon came to pass me out on the path,

Wearing green and red like a Christmas tree, out-loud I did laugh.

~

My sweat tastes like sugar, I thought it was to taste like salt

For sure the craptastic eating has got to come to a halt.

Mile 4, oh thank goodness, coming up ’round the bend,

I think about quitting, putting this madness to an end.

~

Oh no, not now, said my evil competitive half

Keep going, your butts still the size of a calf.

Mile 4.5, 4.6, 4.7 and now 8

This running today I surely did hate!

~

Finally, Mile 5 I hit with a joyous outburst

Give me some vodka, I’ve gotta quench this thirst“!

Day after Christmas running, a giant success,

Now back to the couch my ass must rest.

~

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Christmas Treats 2014

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I hope this finds you all basking in the warm afterglow of a wonderful Christmas!  I am sure 90% of you are sitting in a sugar coma – lord knows I am.   I figured why not just go ahead and share with you the treats that have put me into this blissful state.

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Top Left:  Cookie Dough Bites

1 cup soft butter, 1.5 cups brown sugar, 2 tsp. vanilla, 1/2 tsp. salt, 2 cups flour, 1 Tbsp. water, Mini Chocolate Chips.   Cream butter and sugar together, add remaining ingredients by hand.   Roll into bite size balls and place into mini baking cups, store in fridge.

 

Top & Bottom RightRolo Cookies

1 box devils food cake, 2 eggs, 1/3 cup oil, package Rolo’s, powdered sugar.   Mix devils food cake, eggs and oil.   Take a Rolo and roll enough dough around Rolo to create a ball.  Place on cookie sheet and bake 7-8 minutes in 350 degree oven.  Sprinkle with powdered sugar.

 

Bottom Left:  The best cookies known to man, Eileen’s Cookies.

Visit them at various Omaha locations.  <– link

 

Center:  Caramel Chex Mix, aka Christmas Crack

Recipe can be found here.

 

Enjoy!