Shaming | A Woman’s Perspective

↓Masterpiece

Shaming

We’ve all seen it.   We’ve all done it.  We’ve all been the shamer.  We’ve all been the shamed.

Some of the worst culprits?   Women

Why do we have to be so… I don’t know.  Vindictive?  Is that too harsh?   Am I looking too much into this?   Perhaps.  But, what we all know is that shaming hurts.

Let’s recognize it, acknowledge that we all fall into the trap, understand that it isn’t ok

… and work together to end it.

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Body Shaming

#1.  Hands-down.   We all look different.   We all have different body shapes.   We all have different ideas of what our bodies should look like.   How about we roll the word acceptance around for a minute?

Everyone is beautiful in their own way.   Why do we have to constantly feel like we aren’t skinny enough, healthy enough, fit enough, muscular enough, fat enough?  When can we just accept that some women are born with killer genes?   When can we accept that Girl A over there is ok with being a few pounds overweight?   Just because someone is a little overweight doesn’t mean we have a right to judge them based on that alone.   When can Girl B, who is working really hard at some nutrition and fitness goals, be accepted and recognized for her hard work?   And when can Girl B also accept that not every other woman is interested in following her footsteps?  And, shout-out to Girl C, who, mind you, is right there smack in the middle of “average America” looking confident and beautiful as ever, for not condemning Girl A for her extra weight and also for choosing to not be jealous of Girl B.

My fellow pretty ladies – let’s understand and accept that we all have different bodies, different goals, different lifestyles and different opinions on what “society” might perceive as the perfect body.   We aren’t all meant to look alike!   That’s what makes us BEAUTIFUL and STRONG and UNIQUE.

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Food Shaming

“Oh, you are going to eat THAT for lunch”?  “Do you know how many chemicals are in that soda”?   “Girl, put that cookie DOWN, NOW.  It’s gonna go straight to your butt”.

Mmmhmmmm…  Is that you?   I get it, you are trying to be the supportive, helpful, encouraging friend.  But, there is nothing encouraging about telling someone what they should or shouldn’t eat.   There are ways to suggest a different nutritional path, but that’s a shaky bridge to cross with a fellow woman.  Especially if the advice is not asked for.  Maybe they are having a real bad day, and darnit, that chocolate chip cookie is just gonna do the trick.  SO, let it!  What’s it to you?  You aren’t eating it.  Oh wait!  Is that it?  You want it, but you aren’t allowing yourself to eat it because of the millionth diet you are on and so therefore, NO ONE ELSE should eat it either.    Girlfriend, I love you. And I thank you for slapping that cookie out of my mouth the first time, but if I pick it up off the floor and go for round two, back up.  I am eating it.  Feel free to have a bite too.   It might do your sugar, fat, carbohydrate, GMO, calorie free crazy diet brain some good!

Oh, wait.  Hold the phone.

Can we all stop shaming the healthy eaters out there too?   Yes, eating healthy tastes good.  No, it isn’t boring.   No, she doesn’t need a giant quarter pounder to go with that salad.  Eating healthy is a choice.

Let the girls eat what they want to eat.  If they ask for help nutritionally, then by gosh, give the help.   If they don’t, keep it shut.   It’s not affecting the rest of us.

Unless of course that food over there looks legit.  Get that recipe, stat!

Food-Shaming-Definition_FB

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Clothing Shaming

Does this even exist after High School?

Yep.

We see it on Social Media all the time, don’t we?  A quick Snap of a lady with something stained on her back end.  A Facebook pic of a girl wearing too small of shorts.  Another Snap making fun of the girl at the gym who has an ill fitting sports bra on.   A quick jab that someone is wearing tall socks with their short shoes.   Oh, and do we even need to start on the leggings shaming?  For realz… Who are we to judge what others wear?  What they wear does NOT define them.  Nor does it define us.   That snap taken of the woman with something stained on her back end?   She’s got kids!  They spilled, mom didn’t see, she sat in it.   Be a gem and tell her before she walks around that grocery store any longer!   Oh, and that chick you took a photo of and slapped it on Facebook because her shorts are a little tight?  She just recently lost 40 pounds and is feeling confident.   Praise that confidence… don’t slam her down!  And leggings… good gravy.  Perhaps they are on their way to the gym or coming back from the gym.  So, they are a little see through?   Well, shoot.  Someone better tell me mine are while I am up in front of class rocking out squats.   Oh wait, they are wearing them as casual wear with too short of a shirt?  Can you see through them?  No?  Then hush, child.  Hush.   Let ’em rock that outfit like no-one’s business.

the-crown

 

Feelings Shaming

Feelings.   We have a lot of feelings.  Happy, sad, mad, scared, angry, annoyed, elated, etc.   It’s natural for us to have those feelings at any given moment under many different circumstances.   So, why do we sometimes tell our friends to not be sad, or to suck it up and move on, or to be happy that it’s over, etc…   We have to allow our feelings and emotions to play out. It is who we are.  Women tend to wear feelings on our sleeves… and that is ok!   Why stop it?  We can’t help the way we feel, so we should never feel stupid for allowing our emotions to run freely.   Especially when with our fellow friends and family.   Having a great week?  Let’s celebrate at Happy Hour!   Having a crappy week? Let’s celebrate it being over at Happy Hour! 😉 Need to cry it out?  Here’s my shoulder and a listening ear.   Angry?  Let’s go hit the trails for a run.

Support your fellow sista and hear her out!  Those feelings are no good all bottled up.   No shame in letting it all out.

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Childbearing Shaming

This is touchy, so I will keep it short.   A woman’s choice to have 10 kids, 3 kids or no kids is none other than their choice.   It is never ok to tell a fellow female how having children or not having children is going to make or break them.   It is never ok to tell others how to parent or not to parent.   What IS ok is showing support for the women who have children, who don’t have children, who won’t have children, who are stay at home moms, who are career moms, who are home-schooled moms, single moms, dog moms, divorced moms, widowed moms, teen moms.   How great a world it would be if  we all respected each others childbearing and child raising choices and helped support those decisions without any side commentary along the way?

 

B!tch Shaming

Ok, that is a little harsh.   I’ll admit.  (Sorry, mom).  Hear me out while I summarize, k?

Let’s take a few characteristics of some strong female figures I know.

  • Powerful
  • Confident
  • Smart
  • Gorgeous
  • Home owner
  • Well liked
  • Loving spouse
  • Beautiful
  • Dedicated
  • Determined
  • Successful

Pretty great characteristics to have, don’t you think?  So what happens when you add in a dash of jealousy?   You get threat.   And, for what?  Why?  Are they really a threat?  Did this woman do anything directly to the other? Or is it an issue with the person feeling threatened?

And, just like that, the strong female with several of the above characteristics just got categorized in the Bitch department.

Let’s make it our mission to get to know our fellow sisters before throwing a label on.   Truly know her.  Don’t know only what others tell you.  Their perspective is much different and often slanted.    Find out what makes this woman so driven, successful, powerful, confident, dedicated, etc.   We can all learn something from her.

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Opinion Shaming

So, how are you all feeling with this list?  Uneasy? Spot on? Not sure?

That’s ok.

My opinion is different than yours.   That doesn’t make me a bad person and it certainly doesn’t make you a bad person.  This entire post is merely pointing out one person’s perception of shaming in the female world.  Whether it happens, or not, is something you have to decide for yourself.   Am I guilty?  You bet.  I had a conversation just tonight about someone’s choices and photos they post to FB that I don’t agree with.  I am sure there are those that think the same about me and my posts.   We all have opinions and that is ok.

BUT – I stand strongly on the belief that women need to STAND UP for each other.  Be a unit.

We don’t have to like each other, but we certainly don’t have to hate on each other.  

So, sisters, girls, ladies, friends, frenemies, whoever is reading this.   Can we all agree to work on this?  You aren’t alone.  I need to work on it equally as much.    Let’s all work on not body shaming others or ourselves.  Work on accepting others for who they are, whether we agree or disagree.

Let’s make this womanhood a strong one.

Just think of what more we can accomplish together.

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Pirtlefest 2015

↓Friends in Low Places

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Another Pirtlefest in the books!

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From Races:

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To Sledding:

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To Spectating:

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And chill horse back riding:

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We packed a LOT of activities into #pirtlefest2k15

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And made memories with some of the people we love the best

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Cheers to a succesful Pirtlefest 2015.

Special Thanks to Behrmann for the below Pirtlefest video:

Music Monday 3 | Stars | SIXX:A.M

sixxam

Band: Sixx:A.M.

Song: Stars

↓ Official Video ↓

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I stumbled across this song sometime early this summer and fell in love.   Everybody has different reasons as to why a song speaks to them.  Sometimes it’s worth an explanation – other times it isn’t.   Music speaks for itself and how a person decodes that message is personal.

Past memories, present hopes, future dreams?

Stars

sixxam2

 

The Band: Nikki Sixx, DJ Ashba and James Michael

Learn More:  Sixx:A.M. Official

Other Sixx:A.M songs worth a listen:

  • Life is Beautiful
  • Tomorrow

The Lyrics:

“Stars”
Sixx:A.M

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Do you wanna go to heaven tonight?
Leave the evidence far behind
Say alright, alright
Do you wanna be my lover tonight?
We can leave everybody else behind
Say alright, alright
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Do you wanna see heaven tonight?
Underneath those lights you will look so beautiful
Do you wanna see the stars before they fall,
See the stars before they fall?
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Do you wanna be my love tonight?
And for all my life it could be so wonderful
Do you wanna see the stars before they fall,
See the stars before they fall?
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Maybe we should just run away
Never look back as the world decays
Say alright, alright
Nothing matters ever since the day
You pulled the pin in my heart like a hand grenade
Say alright, alright
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Do you wanna see heaven tonight?
Underneath those lights you will look so beautiful
Do you wanna see the stars before they fall,
See the stars before they fall?
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Do you wanna be my love tonight?
And for all my life it could be so wonderful
Do you wanna see the stars before they fall,
See the stars before they fall?
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(Oh)
Fall out of the atmosphere
Lets run
Run until we disappear and
Never let them come and get you
Never let them take away our stars
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Do you wanna see heaven tonight?
Underneath those lights you will look so beautiful
Do you wanna see the stars before they fall,
See the stars before they fall?
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Do you wanna be my love tonight?
And for all my life it could be so wonderful
Do you wanna see the stars before they fall,
See the stars before they fall?
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Before they fall (oh)
Do you wanna see the stars before they fall? (oh)
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Previous Music Monday’s

Weekend in Review | September 25th-27th

Clarinda, IA is the theme of September.   Between Clint and I, we have been in that little town every weekend, whether together or separate.  It was suggested we “just move back already“.

Um.  Nope.

🙂

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While we DO love Clarinda, we DON’T love it enough to move back any time soon.

We both have our careers based in or near Omaha.   We love being near the city.  What we both miss is the country living.    If my adult country home could have been moved 90 miles closer, I’d still be in it.  🙂  What we plan is to move to the country again someday, but staying near Omaha will be our thing.

So, ya, about that weekend recap.

Friday afternoon Clint and I took off on the bikes to Clarinda to help Kayla work on her new salon she has been tirelessly working on for a few months now.   Getting closer to opening day and it’s looking AWESOME!  (Pssst… Check out Wild Fire Salon and Spa Facebook page).

The girls painted and the boys hung the air ducts.

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Megan and Nikki were even back from Colorado so it was actually a lot of fun painting and catching up with those two crazy chicks.

Saturday

Kayla and I started the morning off right with a walk around the boulevard.   It was a crisp, GORGEOUS morning so we took advantage of it before starting work for the day.   After our walk and a quick stop for breakfast we made our way to get more paint while our husbands, being the ever-jokesters, picked up roadkill and left it for us.  Thinking they were so cute, they parked across the way to watch our reactions.   We simply laughed and hopped in.   Jokes on them since they had to pick it up twice to move it.  Those boys.

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The rest of Saturday consisted of more painting for the gals and sign removal for the boys.

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They have a VERY short attention and work span sometimes…. after the sign was removed and this photo taken, they mysteriously disappeared for the remainder of the afternoon.    😉

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Around 4:30 I had to ditch the work to get ready for the evening.  Clint and I had professional photos scheduled with the Harley’s.  Jade so graciously rode my bike to our first location so I could have somewhat volume in this thin hair of mine.

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Once our first photos were taken – it was game on.

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Our photographer had us do several shots riding and then she took us to two different locations around the community.   This dirt road was location #3 and a perfect spot to close out the night. ❤

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We had such a fun time with our photographer, Heather.  I am STOKED to see what she captured.   Her artistic mind and imagery is incredible.

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Clint was all smiled out for our end of the night selfie.  HA!  What a cheeser.

After our photos we headed back to the Hagey’s to get our trailer and warmer clothes, loaded up, headed to my dad’s for about an hour chat and made our way back to the city.

We were in our garage safe and sound by 11:30pm!  It was a chilly night, but the riding was great (as always) and the moon was INCREDIBLE!

SUNDAY

I have done laundry, run errands, practiced Round 66 TK and am now finishing up this blog entry so I can get in a run.  I will close out the night studying and making my outline for Saturday the 3rd.

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What’s Saturday you ask?

My FIRST OFFICIAL training as a Master Trainer Ambassador.   EEEKKKK!!!!!   After this certification I will earn my Master Trainer title.

Dudes…. I am freaking.  More to come on that.

Cheers!

 

Music Monday 2 | Amen | Halestorm

Music Monday

music heart beat

Halestorm

Song: Amen

Official Video -> YouTube

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Learn more about the band:

Other Halestorm songs worth a listen:

Lzzy Hale Duets worth a listen:

 

I am not certain when I came across Halestorm music, but I can tell you I am so glad I did.  Lzzy Hale, the lead singer and her brother, who kills it on drums, make up a few of the members of this Rock group.

Female Rock Chick?

Well, duh!

After seeing them FOUR times in concert, I still can’t get enough.    Who is on board with me the next time they come around Omaha?   Look me up. You know I’ll be there.

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I LOVE everything about this song.   The world is gonna keep on turning no matter what we do or how we live, so we might as well live it.  Live YOU.  Be You.  Do you.

Take a listen.  Link above.

“AMEN”

Lyrics

A fire’s gotta burn
The world is gonna turn
A rain has gotta fall
Fate is gonna call
But I just keep on breathing
Long as my heart is beating
Someone’s gotta hate
It’s never gonna change
Gets harder everyday
This is one hell of a place
Keep your heart from freezing
To keep yourself believing
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But I won’t run
I’m not afraid
I’ll look em in the eye
Gonna hear me say
It’s…
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<Chorus>
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My life
My love
My sex
My drug
My lust
My god it ain’t no sin
Can I get it
Can I get an Amen
My grace
My church
My pain
My tears
My hurt
My god, I’ll say it again
Can I get it
Can I get an Amen
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Life has gotta kill
Faith is gonna blind
Hope is gonna fade
The truth is gonna lie
Sometimes there’s no reason
To justify the meaning
But I won’t run
I’m not ashamed
It’s gonna take more than this for me to break
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<Chorus>
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