12th Annual Biker B!tch Run | 2017

The 12th Annual Biker B!tch Run rolled in hot.

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And rolled out even hotter.

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Literally.

It was 9 million degrees that day. But who ever let a little sun and heat index of stay-inside-and-hydrate stop them?

Clearly, not us.

 

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The Beginning – Sugars in Council Bluffs, IA

Sugars provided us with our morning cocktail blends of bloody mary’s, screwdrivers and red-bull vodkas.  Logical drinks of choice for the 10:30 brunch hour, right?   And can we take a moment to appreciate this pretty BA sign that Candy and Marcy got for me???    This girl has some pretty incredible and oh-so thoughtful friends (even if I had to be reminded WHO actually went in on this bad boy.  Early on-set of Alzeimers, friends.  It’s real.  And I was just so excited for the day!)  Thanks again Candy!  ❤

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After cocktail hour, hugs, hellos and good-to-see-ya again’s… it was time to make that day our b!tch.

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Stop 1 – Tailgators Bar and Grill in Oakland, IA

A smorgasbord of lunch, ice cold beers and temperature regulation, Tailgators served us well.  And leave it to these naughties to find an opportunity in the dumpster.

Because where else, right?

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Finding fun in every moment is what these chicks excel at.

I dig.

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Stop 2: Cruisers in Griswold, IA

I believe we have Cruisers to thank for the kick of feel-good-endorphins.

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It’s a strong possibility those endorphins were brought to you courtesy of little cups of jello thanks to that wild child, Elise.  A little jiggly bucket of magic dust is what we will call it.

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And it’s our civic duty to follow clear directions and common law…

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So we made sure to oblige.

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Cruisers also provided us with a long stretch of street where we could actually set up and snag a few photos while melting under the fiery glare of the sun.

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Oh, but honey…

Griswold never looked so good.

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Let’s not forget our fun little crew taking space in the fun bus.

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I have Hunter to thank for many of the group photos from the road.  I gave her my camera and said “have fun”.

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Anyway, let’s roll on, shall we?

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Tyree always serves as my right-hand woman.  On the road and in life. ❤

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Stop 3: The Rainbow in Red Oak, IA

There is always one community that doesn’t know what to do or how to handle us when we come rolling in.  This year was definitely Red Oak.  Upon entering the town we came up on a sheriff.  Said sheriff pulled into the center turning lane and sat there while each and every one of us rolled on by, following the trusty 25mph speed limit and providing smiles, winks and a few head nods.

I am certain he was just enjoying the view…

Wouldn’t you?

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The Rainbow provided us with some eats and treats before it was time to leave the fine diners of the Rainbow Cafe to themselves again.

Ya, I see you Cyndi.

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Liz was being a badass a few weeks prior and broke her ankle so instead of two-wheels, she got four, courtesy of this little scooter.  And what kinda mode of transportation would it be without a license plate?

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Y’all.  This is my aunt Marla.  My dad’s sista.  I have this B!tch run to thank for getting us connected again.  It’s been so fun having her along for the ride.   Fun fact: she trailored down my dad’s old bike so I could use it in senior pics back in 1999.   Fun new fact: she fed me pizza when I was a toddler and got scolded.   This new fact is brought to you courtesy of Jessica’s conversation starters in the fun bus.

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Let’s ROLL!

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Stop 4: Jaime’s Tavern on Main in Essex, IA

Oh, friends.  FRIENDS!

You don’t even know…

Let me elaborate via visual effect.

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Our smart mouthed but huge heart friend Jenn couldn’t make the run due to work (we were also down a few others due to a trip to MX, a float trip, work and family time) BUT, Jenn busted her butt to get to Essex to have a drink and see us off to the next stop.

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And it’s always about this time where I become huggy.  I believe we can thank those little buckets of magic from earlier.

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Or maybe these baby beers.  Seriously.  Have you HAD THESE YET?

You are missing out.  Don’t miss out.

Don’t be that guy.

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Alright, Alright.  Let’s move along while we still can.

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Stop 5: The Hangout in Malvern, IA

It’s always about this time where folks start tearing off to head home for dinner with their s.o.’s or various other reasons.  It took me a minute to get used to that as the OG days we stayed together until alllllllll hours of the night.  But, a larger group now-a-days equals a wider range of home locations and miles in between plus family obligations, so I have embraced it as the new standard and can totally dig it.  It’s us.  It’s the new way.

And this last official bar always brings the onslaught of photo opps, as for many of these girls, this B!tch ride might be the only time each year that they ride together, which makes the moments and memories even more special.

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A little fact about the below pic.  Cyndi (left) rode in from Cedar Rapids!  I met Cyndi during the summer of 2007 at the Conesville Motorcycle Rally (R.I.P to the #2 ranked most epic of rallies… click here and here for the #1 ranked) so to have her join up this year on her own ride was pretty friggin’ sa-weet!

And Ashley (right) was a Jeeper during the 11th annual and decided then and there that she was going to be on her own two-wheels for the 12th annual.

A woman of her word.  My kinda peep.

Tyree- does this make her MY friend now too?

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Is the photo fuzzy, or have you just been drinking?

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The official stops may be over, but the unofficial stops were just beginning!

Peace out Malvern!

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Unofficial Stop 6: The Backroom Lounge in Lake Ohana/Glenwood, IA

We didn’t stick around here long.  Just enough for Tyree to join some kids in a bounce house, eat some grub, laugh at something on a phone that I am sure wasn’t funny, pass out the lollipops.

GANG, I am SORRY (not sorry cuz more for me) I forgot these earlier in the day… fail.

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OFFICIAL stop 7: Cara’s SURPRISE 30th BIRTHDAY PARTY!

We cruised into her nice quiet neighborhood, frightened her husband, rolled back the throttles because no birthday is complete without the sound of motorcycles hitting their rev limiters and surprised the hell outta this girl.

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We done?

duh.

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Some fuel and then I took up whip while Liz led us out to The Mile Away where you should also go for the chairs alone.

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Strong possibility they’ll put you right to sleep too!

Soon after the Mile Away we made our way to Crescent for some grub and good tunes and a final end to the night brought to you courtesy of Kimi’s famous split.  It wouldn’t be a B!tch run without it.  BUT, I shall spare her the pic.  There may be some shirt slippage in there and that’s just reserved for us. 😉

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Year 12 brought the fun.  It brought the renewed spirit.  It brought new friendships and reunited old.  It brought a sense of complete camaraderie and sisterhood that makes the B!tch run what it is and what it was built from.  Friendships united on trust, love, honesty, loyalty, a lil booze, wind and complete and total nonsense.

And 100% fun.

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CHEERS!

 

 

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Special Thanks to:

Courtyard Ink

And all the bars visited, linked above.

 

 

 

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Algona Freedom Rally | 2017

We came.

We saw.

We conquered.

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ABATE of Iowa, Algona Freedom Rally 2017 was another success.

And by success we mean drunk, tired and wet.

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Oh come on you dirty minded folks… it rained.  Daily.  Hell, we even survived a potential twister in the area.  Tent campers unite!

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But you dirty minded folks probably aren’t too far off either. 😉

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Like all motorcycle rallies; we arrived, checked-in, set up camp and immediately headed back into town for necessities:

  • Beer
  • Snacks
  • Beer
  • Liquor

before settling into some campsite day drinking, games and people watching.

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Holding up to last years promise, Tracy scored a yard game to keep us entertained for a few hours each day.   Let’s just say a few of us were big talkers and our mouths perhaps got a little ahead of our game.

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Why yes, yes that is a giant bottle of Sangria he’s holding.  We hang with manly men.  Don’t judge.  It’s a rally, remember?  In his defense, he also enjoys partaking in drinking the cheapest, most gut rot inducing beer he can find.

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Our crew prefers to camp on our own little acreage, nestled back in the trees, away from the Algona Rally hub.   We were pretty stoked when we scored our spot we stumbled upon last year and are pretty confident that two years in a row makes us official owners of said acreage.  Watch it 2018’ers.  We are coming for you if you take our spot.

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But, if you prefer to be where the action is day in and day out, then go camp with our good friends the Wiese’s and their mighty crew.

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Where might that be, you ask?  Just follow the loud rukkus coming out of this beautiful Coleman turned DJ central, aka Andy’s masterpiece.

*shirtless stud sold seperately

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Or just look out for a sea of tent canopies on the main drag.  You’ll see them if you don’t hear them first.

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Rain delays on Thursday didn’t dampen our spirits thanks to the Larson’s bonnet.  Who said anything about this contraption being made for a sunblock on the beach?  Psssh….. rain block at rallies is more like it.

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Heck, if that doesn’t work, just throw a chair carrier over your head and call it a day.

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SHUT the front door…. is that a SODA and not a beer?   Yes, sometimes a beer break, literally, is needed and welcomed.

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Many folks ask how large of a crowd the Algona Freedom rally brings in.   Allow me to let the photos tell the story.

 

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Pretty impressive, ya?

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One popular activity during the rally are the motorcycle games.   From the hotdog eating contest, to the slow ride, to the keg rolling, you are bound to see some skills.   In what skill area are we referencing specifically?  I’ll leave that for you to experience when you attend the Rally in 2018.

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Pictured above are our new friends Shelby and Brandon.   Liz and I have followed Shelby (and she us) for a few years on Instagram.  Funny how those hashtags actually work, you hashtagging fools.  When used with purpose and intention, you actually stumble upon some pretty cool shit, including people!   It was awesome to finally meet and hang out at the Rally this year!

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I am positive that this is just the start of a pretty great friendship and will bring about some fun rides in the future.   Way to go, Instagram!

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I used the rally games to actually start messing around with my DSLR settings and photoshop.  I am hellbent on figuring this out so I can try my hand at capturing some good shots of my girls on their bikes. 🙂

The photo above is my first time throwing in a sky overlay.   For my first time, I’d say I didn’t do too shabby blending it in.   Keep your judgy mcjudgerson thoughts to yourself photo police.   Perhaps lend some soft suggestions on how to use and abuse that fancy photoshop element tool, eh?

#notstaged

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The community of Algona held some dirt track racing on Saturday, so we made our way off grounds to partake in that little afternoon adventure.  It was decent but not thrilling.  I believe we all came for the action but stayed for the announcer.   Someone get that guy a gig announcing all the nonsense seen at the actual rally, stat.   Entertainment for hours.

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Algona 2017 went off without a hitch if you ask our little crew.  But, we don’t ask for much.  Steak sandwiches for the hubs, well done burgers for yours truly, prime real estate for camping,  good tunes and train wreck sight seeing galore.  I believe we checked off all those boxes.

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Even though a repeat from years prior, this guy never disappoints with his flame throwing techniques.

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But T-Rex was a new and hilarious edition this year.

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Ominous skies made for the most beautiful weather we’ve had to date!

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And evening tunes brought out the crazy.

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Heck, even a few mid-afternoon naps were welcomed by some, alcohol induced or not, the balancing act is impressive.

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BUT, word of caution, if you fall asleep while watching the afternoon parade of people, you are bound to wakeup to a bearded hug and a moonshine bottle in your face and down your throat.   Happy rallying, Heidi.

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In the end, great friends make the event a success.

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Thanks to ABATE of Iowa for yet another kick ass weekend of fun and sun.

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Algona 2017, you certainly did not disappoint.  We look forward to your next adventures in 2018.

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Cheers!

 


Special Thanks:

Photos:

  • Yours Truly
  • Tyree
  • Tracy
  • Liz
  • DeAnn
  • Algona Freedom rally facebook page

 

11th Annual Biker B!tch Run | July 2016

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The 11th (E.L.E.V.E.N.T.H) annual Biker B!tch run happened July 2016.   Can’t believe it’s been 11 years!

Also can’t believe it took me almost a year to get a post up about it.

Better late then never??

Ya, let’s roll with that, mkay? 🙂

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The 11th goes down in the history books for probably the most unique B!tch run to date.  But, we came, we saw and we conquered.

…And Pep is still smiling that bright and shiny beautiful smile of hers.

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We had a few bonus girls with us manning the Jeep and it was GREAT to have them along.

 

The Jeep came in handy as you will find out in a few more scrolls down.

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The day started in Council Bluffs at a bar that has since closed down, but hey, we appreciated their hospitality while it lasted.  Their parking lot was prime real estate!

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Heidi’s bike on the other hand didn’t treat her so kindly.   High-five to Tyree for saving her.

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After I did my best bossy-pants photo set-ups…

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It was time to rollllllllll…

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First stop: Twisted Tail in Beebeetown, IA; where the food was delicious, drinks were cold and the fan clubs were in full paparrazi mode.

These young girls above wanted pictures taken with them, so of COURSE we obliged.  And then the beautiful ladies below were next in line.

We were feeling famous for about a minute. 😉

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Thanks to Jenn and her continuous drill seargent fitness instructor ways, she challenged Jessica to some weighted squats.

With her as the weight.

Damn, Jess.   You’ve got great form…

… And a graceful fall.

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And before we knew it, it was time to roll on out again.

Want to see us in action?

↓ Click on the photo below ↓

 

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Dunlap, IA to Lampe’s Pub we went.   And also where we hunkered down for the better part of the day.

Sadly, we had a bike that needed some medical attention.  Flat tires and riding do NOT go hand in hand.  Fortunately said flat didn’t happen until we were at a significantly reduced speed creeping into town.   Hello road angels. Liz felt your presence, as did the rest of us. ❤

 

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Thank to a local Dunlap towny, we got Liz’s wheel off,

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drove it down to Woodbine, IA to see the Motorcycle Medic for some TLC

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Then back to Dunlap for the local patron to help us get the wheel back on.

Like I said… it was an adventure!

Thanks Dunlap man.

If we can remember your name, I’ll give you full on credit next time. 🙂

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Meanwhile back at the bar during the bike medical assistance…

Things were getting a little wild.

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Work it, own it, strut it.

Rawr

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Weird… wonder how that dancing red dress emoji girl got on the bar.

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The girls sweet talked this young little bartender into taking his shirt off.

When I ordered a PBR, he didn’t know what it was.

Oh, Bless his cute little young heart.

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Rumor has it the Sheriff rolled through three times.  Apparantly our prolonged presence was making the town folk nervous.

Funniness aside – we thank our men and women in blue for all they do to keep us safe.

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And on that note with bike wounds healed and everyone accounted for and completely sober, it was time to roll.

Thanks, Lampe’s for the good times.

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On to Pop N Docs for a quick drink by the river.

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Tyree and her cowgirl hat hotness.

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And before we knew it, we were rolling on to the Cottonwood Marina in Blair, NE.

But not without the required lollipops first.

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Blair provided us with some dancing, mingling and some goodbyes as a few of us seperated ways as this was technically one of the last stops.

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And with that, our whirlwind of a day was over and the 11th annual was a wrap.

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I am truly thankful for all the strong, empowering, beautiful, full of LOVE females I know.

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What a beautiful ride it is.

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And what a beautiful ride it will continue to be.

Cheers!

 

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Special Thanks:

Anytime Tees – Council Bluffs, IA

The Twisted Tail – Beebeetown, IA

Lampe’s Pub – Dunlap, IA

Motorcycle Medic– Woodbine, IA

Pop N Docs – Decatur, IA

Cottonwood Marina – Blair, NE

 

 

 

 

Bikes, Blues & BBQ 2016

Now that winter has set in and the cold has forced the two-wheels into hibernation, it only seems logical to rub salt in the wounds and reminisce on 90 degree weather and wind in the face, right?

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Arkansas

I had no idea how beautiful a state Arkansas is.  The trees, the hills, the hidden gems, the miles of curves.   Hands down my favorite rally trip so far, minus the time Clint did that little down on one knee number in Sturgis.

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On Wednesday, September 21st, a small group of us took off from Omaha to make our way down to Fayetteville, AR for the annual Bikes, Blues & BBQ rally.   It was a relatively easy and quick ride down there (I’ll bypass how much my seat SUCKS).  We made a pit-stop at the The Garage in Harrisonville, MO where we signed our names to the wall.  Score 1 for me as I found some fellow friends signatures who had been there a few days before us!

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We only made three official stops on the way there for fuel and to stretch, so we made great time!  Far cry from the ride to Sturgis!  Once there we set up camp and awaited the arrival of the Sullivan’s before we settled in for campsite brews and laughter.

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When on vacation, we are in no rush to get anywhere at anytime.   No rules.  No schedule.   When everyone is up we all decide where to go and what to do.   This particular rally included a lot of riding and a lot less walking around and boozing.  During the day anyway.  That might be due to the fact that towns in the hills are few and far between and they apparently don’t believe in bars.   This rally is the complete opposite of the Sturgis experience and I think is why it might have taken over the #1 spot in rally experiences.   #beentheredonethat

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Our first day of riding was pretty spectacular.  The sights, the curves, the beauty!

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Tourist alert

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We found ourselves a pretty incredible BBQ joint called Rivertowne BBQ in Ozark, AR.   The sweet potato fries and accompanying sauce to dip them in was to-die-for!

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Bellies full, beer craving satisfied and back out on the road we went for several more hours, winding our way back to Fayetteville for campsite shots, brews and relaxing.

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The next two days consisted of a lot more riding…

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Parking lot rest-stops while waiting on a few lost riders…

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Getting lost collectively…

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Dancing while lost…

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Roadside beers FINALLY thanks to a random roadside convenience store…

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Ever wanna take a back road?  Or put a little gravel in your travel?  Tear down two lane country roads?

We feelin’ ya, Rodney Atkins.

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I wouldn’t necessarily say we were lost again.  Just exploring…

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Tracy has this fun way about her.  And when I say fun, I mean she holds a convincing personality that gets me to do things I wouldn’t normally do.  Last year Sturgis?  She had me ziplining.

This year?

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It. Was. Incredible!  I need a helicopter hook-up, like stat!   So fun and slightly terrifying when the pilot pulled some funny stomach dropping business.

Thanks, Arkansas Helicopters for the fun!

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A little lawn-tractor pull action to close out our campsite experience was entertaining thanks to a very drunk redneck.

Y’all.  This guy was redneck.

Feel free to re-watch his awesomeness from my saved Snap here.

Should I remind you the pulls were lawn tractors.

It wasn’t really that cool.

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My take-aways from Arkansas.

1. Take beer in the saddlebags anytime you leave camp

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2. The official campsite of BB&B doesn’t really have anything official going on so bring your own entertainment.

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3. We should have used Uber to get to the action on Dickson Street.  This is a reminder for next year!

4. If you don’t sit next to the girls they will create snap stories about it.

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5. Find the camping spot with the fans!  Drowns out the interstate noise and the flysimg_0658

6. If one trailers a bike to a rally, one will always get made fun of.

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7. Twinning is appropriate

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8. Time spent with the hubs is always the best.

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Cheers to BB&B 2017!

 

 

 

Weekend Recap | November 11-13, 2016

Saturday, November 12th
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I could end the post right here.

Done.  

End of Story.

But, what’s the use of a hangover without the story of how it came to be?

Let’s rewind to Friday.

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Friday, November 11th

First of all let me say Thank You to our veterans for your time served and to our current armed forces who continue to serve.

Thank You.

Second: Happy Birthday to my mama!  11/11 was also HER day! 🙂

Now, to the bane of my Saturday?  Friday night.

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We traveled north to Sioux City, IA to see the Turnpike Troubadors in concert with Jade, Kayla, Scott, Haley, Josey and Stephanie.  It was a ridiculously fun night.  Turnpike was INCREDIBLE to listen to… again, music geek in me can’t get enough of good music and TRUE musicianship that these guys exude.

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We let loose, we drank a few too many beers, we stayed our ground in the front of the venue holding steady to the gate, we flirted with the band, we sang along loudly and we made every ounce of that hangover totally worth it.

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Is it me, or is Jade channeling Alan from the movie, The Hangover?

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We even managed to hang out with both bands (opener and headliner) after the concert at a local tavern, to which I awkwardly attempted small talk about music (listen Jordan, don’t talk after 10 beers) and Kayla took endless photos with the groups.

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After hours snap chats = lame tag lines.   We love Friday’s?

Really, Jordan?

*insert giant eye roll*

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Thank GOODNESS social media didn’t exist when we were all in High School.   It’s bad enough as adults.

 

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Friday kinda rocked, and I am ready to do it again, minus the heavy amounts of beer.

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So then there is Saturday again.

It looked like this:

  • 3am – Arrive back to hotel safely thanks to kind cabi who received quite a tip after my sober mind calculated.  I’m sure she deserved every penny.
  • 3:10am – Snap Clint attempting 16 times to open the hotel door.  It was classic.  Score 1 for Jordan catching that gem on video.
  • 6am – First wake-up call, thanks due to a rager of a headache
  • 7am – Wake-up again.  Headache and all…
  • 8am – Restroom.  Oh, hey there rumbling belly.  I hear you and I am answering by laying back down.
  • 8:30am – Respond to Kayla’s text.  Commiserating.
  • 9am – Dear LORD this headache.  Curse the fact I need water but curse the fact I am not sure my stomach can handle even that.
  • 9:30am – Respond to Kayla’s text re: lobby and breakfast.
  • 10:30am – Clint wakes ready to take on the world ( his ability to NEVER have a headache nor hangover really sucks sometimes)
  • 11am – Bid farewell to the crew and head back to Omaha.   Radio off, shades on, air full blast, with minor attempts to tune my overly-chatty husband out.  Dude… headache.
  • 1pm – Homaha – drop husband off at home so he can load truck up with hunting gear and head out to Clarinda.
  • 1:30pm- Pick up race gear for Beer and Bagel run on Sunday
  • 2pm – Home.  Hallmark Christmas Movie. Nap.
  • 4pm- Grocery store for hangover worthy snacks that are always top notch on the healthy pyramid.
  • 5pm – Dinner.  Hallmark Christmas Movie.  Nap
  • 8pm –  Succumb to just letting Saturday be a total wash and go to bed.

 

Sunday, November 13th

Let’s all take a moment and rejoice in the fact that I got out of bed at 6:30am and was ready to run the Beer and Bagel 4 mile trail run at 9am.

Can I get a Hallelujah?   Can I get an Amen?

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Blair is a trail running PRO!  She recently ran a 50K.   Yes, you read that right.  50K = 31.08 miles.  So, I laughed at her for wanting to still run this with me.   It’s 4 miles.  That’s like her warm-up nowadays.  But, thankfully, she did it and we had fun and I appreciate her grace in not rubbing in the fact that this is peanuts to her distance legs.

I might consider running the 13.1 trail run next year.  Trail running is SO much better than road running.  It is so much more forgiving on the joints since you are on soft ground and uneven terrain that forces you to take it easy and watch where you are going, rather then operate as a robot and pound the pavement.  Running the 13.1 Beer and Bagel run in 2017 is a definite thought.  A consideration.

We will see. 🙂

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After the race I napped again.  DUDE!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!    I think it was a culmination of three days in a row last week of getting up by 3:10am on top of the minimal water and shenanigans on Friday night.  My body was O.V.E.R. it.

I forced myself into partial civilization on Sunday afternoon when I bundled up and went out on the HD, just her and I.   It’s that time of the year when the hubs is gone hunting on the weekends and I get my coveted solo ride time in when the weather is cooperating.

I managed to burn through a full tank of gas and it was all sortsa magical.

Solo rides = no destination.  No planned stops.   Just a direction, the roll of the throttle and a big ass smile on my face.  🙂

Although, this snap looks like I don’t even have a head, let alone a face for a smile.

But my front wheel looks B.A.

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Cheers to a GREAT weekend!

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