It’s Only 8AM

Yep… it’s only 8am and already I want a do-over.

It started off normal with my 4:25am alarm clock blaring.  Typical morning in Jordan’s world.

And then, just like that, all sense of normalcy went out the window.




Woke up to my head pounding, stuffed up nose and sore throat.  I felt it coming yesterday but I was trying to ignore it.  Pretending it wasn’t so.

Oh, you silly girl… It is SO!

Nothing to do about it but keep on keepin’ on, so I quickly packed my gym bags with work clothes that I didn’t do last night, packed my breakfast and lunch and went on my merry little way.

I should tell you that at 5am this morning here in lovely old Omaha, NE, it was raining.  And not that cute sprinkly misty crap Mother Nature thinks is just adorable this week.


She decided rain was the way to go this morning all the while my Jeep windshield wiper decided it was the perfect time to break.


Next thing I know I’ve got a dangling wiper blade and metal scratching my windshield.   Super cool, y’all.

I find myself pulling over to the side of the interstate to try and fix it.

Did I tell you it’s raining?  And I need to be in Council Bluffs for my 5:30am class?

Ya, so, apparently the little latch that holds the stupid blade to the wiper arm broke loose.  Absolutely no way of keeping that sucker on, but couldn’t have the metal scratching across the windshield the entire time.  What the hell is a girl to do?

Rip apart a pair of earbuds to tie it on.


Freaking genius!!

Oh wait… Nope.  Nope.  Not so fast.  It didn’t work.

So, I drove the rest of the way to Council Bluffs hunched over, eyes scrunched, looking through a window that is covered in rain trying NOT to turn my wipers on because FOR REAL don’t want a windshield scratched to holy hell.

Get to the YMCA with 30 seconds to spare!   My class was ready to rock and roll while I ran in with soaking wet shoes, drenched hair and a freezing cold body.

Let’s DO this!

Class was great.  More then great, actually.  Had a packed gym, everyone had a great workout.

Time to shower and get ready for the day, right?   Well, friends.  5 out of the 6 outlets in the women’s locker room were NOT WORKING.   And this morning there were an awful lot of us trying to get ready at the same time.   So, I’ve got that stunning wet-curly-crunchy-from-the-gel-no volume-stuck-to-my-forehead- look going on today.

Dead.  Freaking. Sexy.



Ok.   It’s gotta get better, right?


Leave the Y and head to Walmart, the only place open in Council Bluffs at 7:05am, to try and find a new windshield wiper blade.   Thankfully Mother Nature decided to bring back the sprinkle so seeing wasn’t too big of an issue for that 5 miler.


WalMart.   I have never really liked you.  It shouldn’t have surprised me that you would fail me once again.


Out of ALL of those wipers?  Not a darn one will work for my 2014.   They had ONE $4.00 pair that might have worked, but the directions required measuring, cutting, sacrificing your already on edge mental state, before installation.

Nope.  Not happening.

Next up?   Advanced Auto Parts where I sat in my Jeep doing a little deep breathing while I waited for the doors to open at 7:30.

Good news.  The auto parts guy is a fellow Jeeper who found me new blades and installed them for me.  We chatted Jeeps for a while (he had a cool Rubicon sitting out front) and then I was finally on my way to work.

Which, by the way, I am to be at by 7:30.  It’s 7:45.


I decided to quickly swing through HyVee for a Starbucks.  I wanted something warm and soothing after my morning fiasco.   Why on earth I thought this was a good idea at 7:45am is beyond me.  The line was 12 deep.

Forget it.

Work.  Made it.  Walking in.  Forgot office keys.  Oh goody, let me walk back to my Jeep in the rain again.  I mean, why wouldn’t this be fun?


And since I was late to work, I am parked further out then normal.

You know what that means?   <Lot’s of puddles and now wet socks>   THAT is what it means.

I believe I am just going to bury my head in my hands and shove my Greek Yogurt and soggy granola down my throat now.



Please don’t enter that door unless you are carrying Vodka.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s