I, like many others, have set several goals that I want to achieve in 2015.
The first of which has a deadline.
That deadline is almost here and I have, at this point, successfully pumped myself full of self-doubt.
The self-doubt has become so great that I subconsciously and unknowingly self-sabotage. Bad decisions, terrible internal voices that tell me I am not ready, lack of motivation, lack of confidence, inadequate feelings, the almighty “oh, you still have time” and then even worse “maybe this goal you just won’t make… try again next time”.
.
.
I don’t want to try again. I don’t want to miss this first goal I set for myself.
I had plenty of time to prepare. I knew this was coming since November of last year. I have had more than enough time to hone my craft.
So, why is it that I am no where near what I had in mind as being “ready”.
Doubt
Self-sabotage
Lack of motivation
Comparison
Fear
I know I am being vague when it comes to the goal itself. That’s the thing…
There are a total of 5 people that know what it is.
It is that scary for me.
End of February.
Goal 1.
It’s there. It isn’t going anywhere. It is up to me to really figure out if I am ready for it, if it’s self-doubt or if I just need a little more time.
Whatever it is, I need to remember…
Goal 1 might be a failure – but I am not.
