Say No To Crack | A Gym Rats Must Do Test

In the fitness world belongs a peculiar little test that should always be administered before an individual steps foot into the gym.  This little test MUST be passed with flying colors as it is the best defense against the involuntary showing of one’s butt crack.

Legging wearing gym goer’s.  Come One, Come All!

This is for you, boo. 

Allow me to assist you in avoiding future and/or continued unplanned exposure of your derrière. The following is the greatest preventative measure against personal humiliation you could ever administer.

Are you ready for this?  It’s called…

The Squat Test 


booty courtesy of uber fit Lorna Jane girl


Ya, you got it!  The simplest and most functional of exercises you can administer could actually help you avoid indecent exposure to the entire gym world.

Before you even think about walking out of that dressing room (or home if you are an online shopper) you MUST get comfortable staring at your back end in a mirror under bright lights.


Ya sure do, sweet-cheeks. 


Because if you don’t, those sweet-cheeks are on full display for the world.


I am talking to you Walmart, Target, Old Navy wearing legging friends.   Where’s my Nike PRO and Under Armour loving friends?  You raising your hands?   Guess what?

You aren’t exempt.

Nike has gotten pretty stingy on some of their material and styles of leggings.  One little squat test I recently did at Scheels proved to me that Nike’s weren’t going to be my friend during a good solid downward dog.

Are we having a break-through moment together right now?  Is your face red with heat and embarrassment thinking about what you wear to the gym?

As a fitness instructor and former fitness Master Trainer, I have seen more booties, thongs and granny panties than I ever imagined I would.  I mean, I teach fitness classes. What is this?!


Now, I AM one of those people who tries to always let others know if they have something in their teeth, or if they have spilled food on their boob, etc.  My goodness, I’d want others to tell me!  How friggin’ embarrassing, yo!  Help a sista OUT!

Now with that said, I always try to cover my fitness peeps butts by letting you know I can see it, but I also don’t want to embarrass you, so I will wait until the end of class if no one is in your direct line of fire.  Here’s the second BUT — sadly I am also forgetful and at the end of class I just want to get everyone stretched and smiling again after the death that was bestowed on them and out the door, so, if you are in my classes you aren’t exempt.  Please resume squat test, immediately, in your own well lit bathroom mirror, k?

The How and What to the Squat Test

  • Turn around so your back is to the mirror.
  • Squat.
    • Deep and low as you can go.
  • Now, stick your booty out there, girl.
    • Give it a little smack if you feelin’ sassy.
  • And then LOOK.
    • Can you see your paisley printed thong through the material?  How about the outline?  HOW ABOUT SKIN?
  • Not seeing anything?
    • Put a light to it.  Natural light or flashlight.  Now whatcha got for me?


Put those pants back on the hanger and

W.A.L.K.  A.W.A.Y!!!


The Higher the Price – The More Dignity You Will Preserve

You cannot be afraid to spend a pretty penny on workout leggings.   Unless you are super eager to show off your scantily covered apple bottom, then there isn’t a price tag too high, in my opinion.   Below are my two favorites from ATHLETA to help you get started.  You can find in my closet two pairs of each of the below, because I believe in them that much.   I also LOVE the mid to high waist bands.  Zero roll down, zero pulling up pants every 5 seconds of a workout, complete coverage.   SOLD.

There are so many brands out there worth mentioning and exploring, so don’t limit yourself.  Lorna Jane, LuLuLemon, Fabletics, Carbon 38 and Victoria’s Secret PINK to name a few.   Heck, try Nike and Under Armour as well!  I have a few myself, but I was very careful with the squat test on those babies.  And, for the record, I love Nike.  I wear Nike Free RN shoes to the gym (Asics Gel Quantrums make a steady appearance as well) and nearly all my tops are also Nike.  Nike FREAK over here, but you just have to be careful on SOME of the legging styles.   They are made for certain workouts and the material is a good indicator of that.  Just didn’t want to hurt Nike’s feelings in case they want to sponsor me and my radness.  You know. 😉


Athleta Stealth TruCool Skulptek Capri. $98


Athleta Salutation 7/8 Tight. $79


Athleta Chaturanga Tight. $74


Happy Shopping and Mirror Squatting!




Weekend in Review- David Nail, Pitchers of Margaritas, Volleyball and Shopping!




Friday in a nutshell included copious amounts of Vodka Red Bull, Friends, Lot’s of Laughing and Killer Music by David Nail at the Whiskey Roadhouse in Council Bluffs, IA.

Is he not just adorable?


My favorite songs of his right now include Catch You While I Can and Strangers on a Train

Us gals met for pre-drinks and dinner around 5:30 before heading over to the concert venue at 6:30.  It was already PACKED and he didn’t go on stage until after 9.  Didn’t bother us.  We scored a table thanks to a couple splitting early and we kept the drinks a coming.


ImageTyree and I


Carrie and Tyree


Before we had too many drinks


After too many drinks. 

Camera couldn’t even keep up with those stellar moves.

Cheers to a pretty fantastic Friday Night!



Shopping.  I started off shopping for a couple of new workout shirts as I desperately needed to add a few to my rotation.  I walked away with some shirts.   And some shoes.  

Do I dare say a couple pair?

#nikeairmaxprobs   #bestillmyheart

One could say Nike and I have quite a great working relationship.



I think I have a fair representation in my closet of every year of Nike Air Max starting with the 2005’s.  No shame in admitting that.   They have been the best shoe for all my high impact exercise and activities.  There is just enough cushion with the perfect arch support and room in the toe box. 

Yesterday I added another 2013 pair to my collection (grey and lime green) because they were on sale.  

And I just couldn’t take my eyes off the 2014’s.  OH. MY!

Nike.  You have figured it out.   The Flyknit and cushioning.  Seriously, best yet.  I can’t wait to try these babies out tomorrow while I teach my Turbo Class!  (Check out The 2014’s <——–).

Nike… seriously.  We should form a real live working deal. 


Saturday night we went to dinner with Clint’s mom and family at Maria’s Mexican Restaurant.   If you are ever in the Ralston, NE area, this is a MUST.   We went at 5:30pm and it was already packed with a wait.  Such a popular place to eat.  For good reason as well!

The taco’s are hands-down my favorite.


We shared two pitchers of margaritas as well.   Ya, we know how to do it up.



We capped off the night watching The Great Gatsby.   I don’t really know what I thought of the movie.  It was different.  Eccentric?  Can I describe it using that word?  Ya.  Works for me.



Spent the morning with my Goecker family watching my cousin play volleyball and the afternoon talking on the phone (not kidding), editing photos, lesson planning and Grammy watching. 


Cheers to a GREAT week my friends!


Cardio Circuit- Fit For Christmas

Short and sweet today.   I am already two days behind my promised Fit For Christmas Series. 

Today is all about the circuits.  This morning in my TurboKick class we did a double round of the Turbo section which inspired the following Circuit.

Kill it, kids!



My trusty NikeAir Max get me through all my TurboKick workouts, but I can tell they are wearing out at a lot faster since I started teaching again 5 weeks ago. 

Oh darn, that means I have to go buy new shoes.   What girl hates that? 

My current shoes are the 2013 Air Max:


Have you SEEN the 2014 Air Max?  Come to mama!! 

Love Love Love! 

You can bet those babies are on my Santa List.  (I am pretty sure I will be Santa in this case).  I am loving 2 of the 3 new color schemes.  Decisions.  Decisions.



Check them out here


Happy Thursday!